I often forget how powerful our minds are. I talk about how powerful the mind is all the time... to my friends, my family and even strangers. It's easy to forget though, day in and day out. Every single part of our mind is powerful but it is the beliefs that we choose to have, that catapult certain power into reality. It's almost like a strict beam of light. It's either negative or positive. But what we choose to believe about that light beam is inevitably what will be manifested in our lives. It's true - we are what we believe.
A few days ago, I picked up a book (The Laws of Hope: The Path to Your Dream, Success, and Mission in Life) that had been collecting dust on my dresser for at least a year. I had an exhausting day and my mind was filled with stress and anxiousness for various reasons. So I grabbed this book off my dresser, sat down with zero distractions around me and started reading. I started it and within five minutes, I was shaking my head in agreement to what I was reading. The stress and anxiety in my body almost vanished immediately. Everything I was reading brought light and understanding to what I was experiencing outside of those pages. As I read the authors' words, I felt very at ease about what was beginning to ensue inside of me; an unexpected, soft peace.
I began to gently realize what it was that was making me feel uneasy. "Blame", I thought. I feel that it is so easy to blame - so incredibly easy. I turned to blame when I didn't have the answers that I had been longing for in my senior year of college. The year where I was supposed to be so excited about what was ahead and living for the moment and doing crazy things; I let myself be consumed by blame. I blamed myself and I blamed others. Today, like many other days, I am reminded that I don't have everything figured out and that's ok. But it's equally important for me to remember that everyone else doesn't have everything figured out either. It's time that I really let that truth reside in my heart. It is too easy to blame others for situations not turning out the way we expect them to, when in fact, we're all just doing the best we can. I can't blame anyone for doing their best.
Life is not easy to navigate. We just do the best we can and we make decisions based upon our experiences; past and present. I understand why I feel the need to blame; the easiness and the satisfaction that comes from it is undeniable. Blame is where I have turned to seek justice about things happening in my life that I wasn't ok with; things that I didn't approve to happen. It makes me laugh now because that way of thinking is just so out of whack. It's craziness but I forgive myself because life is not easy to navigate. Sometimes we turn to the things that are easy when life doesn't go our way. That's what I did. I'm sure I will do it again and fight this battle many more times in my life. The truth, as I understand it, is this: I just want to make things right no matter what it is in my life. I want everything to be understood and have its definition. It's natural to want and need answers - it's hard to keep moving without them. Yet, we have to keep moving. Answers are not guaranteed as many of us know, and have painfully learned time after time. We also know that these things eventually lessen in pain and allow us to breathe a new breath.
I have been working on how I view things; specifically people and situations I joke myself into thinking I can control or could have controlled. Our thoughts are so powerful so it's important for me to step back, regain focus, and understand my perceptions and seek the truth about them. Even when the truth is never revealed, it is, as I have experienced, less painful to reconcile on our own than it is to wait for reconciliation.
Alex