My recent CrossFit endeavors have inspired this blog… here it is and I hope you enjoy!
I’ve dabbled in the idea of CrossFit through the years. It wasn’t until senior year of college (2016) where I decided I wanted to commit to something outside of school. While I felt a sense of pride because I signed up, I never showed up. Well, I take that back. I showed up sometimes. Maybe once, sometimes twice on a good week. But every time I went, I was terribly nervous beforehand. I always felt ill-equipped, weak and the need to question my place there. My thoughts were not completely out of the ordinary as a first-timer to CrossFit but what I did next led me to believe that they were true.
I feared the unknown and I didn’t do anything about it. I didn’t lean into my fear and try to figure it out. Instead, I gave fear 100% control. I essentially said, “Ok fear, you’re right. I am ill-equipped. I am weak and I don’t belong here.” I felt defeated before I even walked in to class. When those types of thoughts flood your mind every time you think about going to CrossFit, it’s easy to be convinced that you just shouldn’t. And so that was that. I was afraid and I didn’t show up (even though I was paying the monthly membership.…yikes). I turned away with my shoulders down. I felt embarrassed when I didn’t show up to class and I felt embarrassed when I did. One or two days a week of CrossFit, quickly faded into no days at all.
I was lucky enough to grow up in a home where health and fitness were an important part of life so I never felt like these things suffered when I didn’t show up to CrossFit but I did suffer, in other ways. My mentality was shattered. My emotions were everywhere. And it was the first time I had real life experience with the phrase, “hole in wallet”.
Fast forward to last September, I was living and working in Italy. I had a lot of time to think about the things I wanted in life and I knew that I had to take advantage of that free time. So I genuinely thought about what I wanted most after my European journey ended. I realized that all I wanted was to be back in Georgia, near my family, settled with a good job and working towards building a community. While I love traveling, I wanted nothing more than to build roots somewhere. I landed back in Georgia in December, moved to Atlanta, landed an amazing job, and thought, “hmmm community… maybe I should check out CrossFit.” I have to admit, I was skeptical of my thought considering my last experience. But, I thought, if I really committed to it, it could be great. So I had an honest moment with myself and said that if I wanted to do it, I could, but I’d have to show up.
Fast forward to this past July and I had my (second) first CrossFit class. It was hard (as expected), but I told myself, “just keep showing up”. I was nervous but I made myself go. “Show up and you’re halfway there,” I kept telling myself. The more I kept going, the less anxious I was about the unknown of each class.
The truth is, fearing the unknown is just something we do as humans at some point in our lives. Sometimes when you feel fear, it’s because you’re in the right place. So if we just dive in, and pursue fear, rather than push it away, we might be surprised by what we find. I know this to be true because I’ve surprised myself the past three months. I made it my goal to go three times a week and I’ve done just that. I was afraid to go to CrossFit, but walking away was too easy and I had already done that. I told myself to keep showing up despite the thoughts that tried to convince me I shouldn’t.
All of this to say, the more you show up in your life, no matter what it is, the better your life will be. Even if things don’t go as planned or as you may have thought, it’s better to show up. It’s admirable. It’s courageous. It’s the right thing to do. It’s our duty to be present and to be fully present in our lives. So whatever it is that you may not be showing up for because you’re nervous or scared - show up anyway and see what happens. I promise it’s a lot less painful than not showing up at all.
Move into your life. Lean into your fears. Sometimes, we’ll find that what we fear is just that silly voice in our minds telling us we can’t, we’re not capable, or we’re not worthy. But remember the truth.
You can. You are capable. You are worthy.
Alex